Cot versus your bed, where should your baby sleep?
First of all, when it comes to parenting there are no shoulds, it’s up to you where your baby sleeps, do what works for you and your family, do what makes your heart sing.
Let me state my bias up front. All of my babies have slept in a cot. There are a few reasons. The main reason being that I’m a light sleeper, I find it difficult to sleep with a baby in my bed, I hear every snuffle, every sigh, feel every squirm, every wriggle and end up missing out on a precious nights sleep. This turns me into the grumpy mum I don’t want to be the next day. Another reason is that I need to work, so I know my baby won’t always be able to snuggle up in bed with me to go to sleep, she’s going to need to learn to put herself to sleep. And the last reason, maybe the most selfish of all, is that my bed is like my sanctuary, a place where Pete and I can retreat to at the end of the day and have time out, I’m very protective of that.
Getting your baby to sleep in a cot though can be challenging. Try to be consistent and when ever possible have her sleep in her cot. You may find you have to teach her how to put herself to sleep by letting her cry a bit while you come in and out and settle her. For some babies sleep seems to come naturally. My third baby, Kai, was the easiest out of my four. I’d put him in the cot and he’d smile up at me, then that would be it for the next three hours. If only they were all like that, but there not, some babies need a bit more help than others. Know though that it is the best gift you can give a child, the gift of being able to put themselves to sleep.
There are advantages to having your baby sleep in bed with you. The best one is probably the fact that you don’t have to get out of bed to settle her. If you’re breast feeding then all you have to do is roll over and pull out a breast for her to latch her on to. You don’t have to put one foot on the cold bedroom floor. Another advantage is that while your baby is sleeping there next to you, you always know she’s OK. There’s nothing worse than waking up in the early hours of the morning only to feel boobs on your chest that are ready to explode because your baby has slept through a feed. The panic that surges through you can make your blood turn cold, why hasn’t she woken? Is everything OK? If you’re baby is right there in bed with you, all you have to do is reach over and feel her warm skin or listen to her tiny breaths.
There are some tricky things about having your baby sleep in bed with you. Like the fact that your baby can become used to going to bed with you and start to expect that every time she needs a sleep you will have a sleep too. This can become a bit trying if you are hoping to get a few things done while she’s asleep. The other challenge can be making the transition from your bed to her own bed. It can be lovely having a little baby snuggled up in bed with you, even a toddler, but what about a four or a five year old, or an eight year old? Or what if you’re having another baby, is there enough room in the bed for the four of you? Or what if you and your partner are simply craving a bit more intimate time? It’s a good idea to decide on an age that suits you all for your baby to move from your bed to hers, keep that age in mind and then work towards it.
Remember, your baby should sleep where you want them to sleep, not where your mother wants her to or your best friend. Do what feels right for you and your baby.
