Noah and Madame Kick Shins
The weekend afterthe slide show at Kai’s school we gave Noah the option of changing schools.
Wetold him about the teachers with their welcoming smiles, told him how theschool reminded us of our little valley school back home. We gave him theoption of changing schools, said he didn’t have to put up with Madame KickShins one day longer if he didn’t want to.
Noah didn’t even have to think before he answered us. Hesaid that he’d got used to Madame Kick Shins, said he had her figured out. Hethought that she’d started to like him, thought maybe he was even in there witha chance of becoming one of her favourites. He said that the kids in his classwere still pains in the butt, but even they weren’t as a bad as they used tobe. Noah had made some friends, kids that would stick up for him if theso-called Daniel Dickheads and Carlos Cry Babies of the class started to hasslehim. So decision was to stay.
Noah spent that weekend after the slide show preparing an assignmentfor Monday. The assignment was to make a traditional food from your homecountry and create a poster that explained what it was like to go to school inthe country you came from.
Noah decided he wanted to make lamingtons. He’d made themback at home in Australia with a friend and his mum a couple of times and hetold me it was simple. My only memory of making lamingtons was from when I wasa kid going to Brownies. Every year we used to have a lamington drive to raisemoney. All of us kids in the Brownie pack would line up against the kitchenbench and be given a task, dipping, rolling or cutting. There was alwayschocolate and coconut everywhere; spread across the floor, all over the benchesbut most of all on our faces and round our mouths from where fingers thatweren’t meant to be licked had snuck their way inside, leaving the sweet tasteof chocolate and coconut on our tongues. As a consequence, I wasn’t keen on thedoing the whole lamington making thing in our tiny Swiss kitchen that had not muchmore than a cutting board, sharp knife and a cereal bowl. I’m sure Georgettewould have leant me anything I needed, but then that would have meant I had tocommit to sticky chocolate and white coconut mess.
But Noah, being well practised in the art of pestering,begged long and hard enough to make me give in. I did give him one conditionthough, I told him he had to do it all by himself. Told him I wasn’t interestedin getting up to my elbows in chocolate and coconut. He agreedenthusiastically. By the time we came to this agreement it was Saturdayafternoon and we had none of the ingredients he would need at home. So Noah, knowing he had to do it all byhimself, convinced Jack to go with him into town to buy the ingredients. Theytook off down along the farm tracks, back packs on, feet pedalling madly.
It took them an hour and half to get to the shops and back.Noah was sticking to his theory that lamingtons were simple to make and hadbought only three ingredients.
‘They didn’t have any plain sponge cake mum, like the onesJo, (his friend’s mum back home), used when she made them.’ I was pleased tohear that at least he hadn’t got it into his head to make the sponge cake aswell. ‘All I could find were these roll things.’ He pulled out two packets ofsmall rolled sponges, the writing on the packet said ‘crème citron’. Lemoncream in lamingtons?
‘Do you think they’ll be alright?’ Noah was staring at thelamingtons, his brow creased. It was the first time I realised how badly hewanted his lamingtons to make a good impression in the class.
‘Yep, they’ll be fine. Nothing better than a lemon-creamedlamington I reckon.’
Late Sunday afternoon Noah announced that he was going tostart making his lamingtons. Ignoring the vision of chocolate and coconut everywhereand my strict rule that he would have to do it all by himself, I asked him ifhe needed a hand. He said no, said he should be fine except he just wasn’texactly sure how you melted chocolate?
We had a quick lesson in double saucepan chocolate meltingmanaging not to burn the precious chocolate, (there was no going back forseconds if we made a mistake, the shops don’t open on Sundays in Switzerland).And then I showed Noah how to organise his bowls chocolate first and coconutsecond. Then I left him to it.
About twenty minutes later he called out for me to come intothe kitchen.
‘I’ve finished, what do you think?’
He lifted up a plate full of little chocolate logs allcovered in white coconut.
‘Looks fantastic,’ I said, and he really had done a goodjob. There wasn’t one bit of sponge cake showing.
‘Want to try some?’
‘Yeah I’d love to, but I think you might be better to putthem in the fridge for half an hour or so first, get all the chocolate to gohard so it’s easier to cut them up into little pieces for sharing. When they’reall cut up we’ll try one.’
After the lemon cream lamingtons had been put in the fridgeNoah settled himself down at the coffee table to do the poster project that wasto be presented with the lamingtons. He sat there for a good two hours. Theposter had to show what it was like to live in his country of origin,Australia. There had to be a piece of descriptive writing in French and thenpictures either drawn or gathered to support and extend the written text. Noahsat there for a good two hours without looking up. He wouldn’t even get up whendinner was ready, said he’d have dinner when he was finished.
After all the other kids had gone to bed Noah finally stoodup from the coffee table with stiff legs and hobbled into the kitchen to showPete and me what he’d been doing, a big grin on his face.
He read out the French for us and then made us look over itfor spelling mistakes, the effort he’d put in without having to be nagged orprompted was amazing and he was so proud. He couldn’t help smiling when we toldhim over and over again how clever he was.
‘Think Madame Kick Shins will be impressed?’ He asked
‘Don’t see how she can’t be,’ Pete said, if this doesn’timpress her then nothing will, may as well give up trying.’
Noah laughed.
After he’d eaten his warmed up dinner of tuna pasta Noahinsisted that we try the lemon cream lamingtons. Sponge cake, crunchy chocolateand sugary lemon cream; one bit was enough for me but Noah went back forseconds and then thirds, very impressed with his own culinary skills. He wassure they would be a success at school the next day.
At lunchtime the next day Noah arrived home with a big grinon his face.
‘So,’ I said, ‘what was Madame Kick Shins verdict?’
‘She loved them mum. She kept going on and on about themsaying how she’d never tasted anything like them. Saying how you were a geniusand she told me to tell you to say thankyou about ten times. She wants you tocome into school and do some talk or other.’
‘Hang on, hang on. Me, a genius? I didn’t have anything todo with the lamingtons, they were all you, right down to the shoppingexpedition. Didn’t you tell her that you made them?’
‘Yeah I did, but she wouldn’t listen and then, when I’d saidit enough times so she couldn’t help but listen, she didn’t believe me. Shethinks it was you who made them and now she wants you to come in and do somesort of talk.’
Noah was laughing while he spread butter across a chunk ofbread. The idea of me up in front of his class with Madame Kick Shins lookingon while I stumbled through some talk in French was obviously amusing.
‘Well that won’t be happening,’ I said.
‘Why not mum?’ Jack wasn’t going to let me get away thateasily. ‘You’re good at French now, I reckon you could give Madame Kick Shins arun for her money.’
‘Yeah, right. And what about the project, how did that go?Did she like that?’
‘Uh huh,’ Noah said through a mouthful. ‘She held it out thefront of the class and talked on and on about how good it was and how ifanybody wanted to know what their project should look all they had to do waslook at mine. She said she’d never seen such a good example in her classbefore. She kept talking about it until all the kids started to get fidgety andannoyed. A few of them started talking and she yelled at them to be quiet, toldthem to bring their agendas out and then said to me in front of the class thatI was a fantastic student.’
‘Good on you,’ Pete said, patting Noah on the back.
‘Yep,’ Noah said, ‘no more problems with Madame Kick Shinsfor me, definitely class favourite.’
The smile that Noah rode back to school with that afternoondidn’t come home with him though. The boy who walked through the door thatafternoon could have been a completely different kid all together. His bag wasslung over one shoulder, his feet shuffling, his eyes didn’t look up when Isaid hello.
‘How was your afternoon?’ I asked knowing that I alreadyknew the answer.
‘Yeah fine,’ he said and went straight past me into thebedroom he shared with Poppy and closed the door.
I didn’t follow him straight in. I asked Jack, who’d riddenhome with Noah if he knew what was wrong.
‘Not sure,’ Jack said, pouring himself a glass of milk andcutting a piece of bread from the loaf that was left over from lunch. ‘Somethingabout homework and Madame Kick Shins I think.’
‘But I thought that all went really well this morning?’
‘Yeah, don’t know, but he’s not good.’
Jack took his bread outside to where Poppy and Kai wereriding their bikes. I went into Noah’s room. He was lying on his bed with thecrumpled covers pulled up over him and the pillow over his head.
‘Noah?’
No answer.
‘Noah?’ I said again, this time pulling gently at the pillowthat was over his head. The pillow made a half-hearted attempt to resist my pullbut then came away easily. Noah’s face was pale, the light freckles around hisnose stood out and you could tell by the tear streaks running down his facethat he’d been crying.
I smoothed his fringe back off his forehead, ‘What’s uphoney?’
Noah kept his eyes closed. ‘Nothing,’ he said so quietlythat I wasn’t sure if I’d heard it.
‘Are you sick?’
‘No.’
‘Go on, tell me what’s the matter. You were so happy atlunchtime, did something happen at school? Were the kids being awful to youagain?’
‘No, nothing, I’m fine,’ his eyes were still closed.
‘Noah, you never come straight into your bedroom and buryyourself under your blanket when you get home from school. It’s pretty hard tobelieve that there’s nothing wrong. Is it Madame Kick Shins again?’
Noah started crying. He didn’t roll over, didn’t try andhide the silent tears that were rolling out from behind his closed eyes.
I pushed his hair back off his forehead again and kissed himgently. ‘Go on honey tell me what is it? What happened? I can’t help you if Idon’t know what’s going on and I really want to help.’
He took a deep breath which shuddered through his body. Withhis eyes still closed he told me that he’d got in trouble off Madame Kick Shinsbecause, in his excitement of making lamingtons and doing his poster project,he’d forgotten to some homework for that had been due in that afternoon. Hesaid Madame Kick Shins had yelled at him in front of the whole class and hadwritten something in his agenda.
I hugged him and let him cry. When he stopped he sat himselfup in bed and blew his nose on a tissue.
‘You know I couldn’t care less what she writes in the agendadon’t you?’
‘Yeah I know, it’s not that, it’s just after all the hardwork I put in with the lamingtons and the project I thought that she would likeme now. I thought things would be different, that we’d sort of be friends, wellnot friends, but that she’d understand who I was. Understand that I wasn’t oneof the kids that wanted to cause trouble, that I did try with my school work.’
‘Sometimes Noah it doesn’t matter what you do, how hard youtry to show people or how good you try to be, some people just don’t get it.They never will and it’s got nothing to do with you, it’s all about them. Allshe’s managing to do is highlight that she’s a very difficult person to workwith perhaps even impossible. You can see that can’t you?’
‘Yeah, I get all that, but it doesn’t help when you have toturn up to class everyday and try and keep her happy.’
‘But Noah you don’t have to, remember? You can go to theschool that Kai’s going to. It won’t be giving in. Both dad and I know thatyou’ve given this school you’re absolute best shot and I think you know thatyou have too don’t you?’
‘Yeah, I just really wanted to make it work though, I’ve evenstarted to make some friends now, I really don’t want to start all over again.’
‘Well why don’t you think about it for a couple of days? Allyou need to know for the moment is that there is a choice and it’s up to youwhich one you make.’
Noah’s mood lifted over the next couple of days. He seemedto come to an acceptance in his head that no matter what he did Madame KickShins was who she was and she wasn’t going to change. He seemed to think hecould work with that, seemed to think he’d be able to ignore her tantrumsenough to not let them not get under his skin. But then, on Wednesday afternoonwhen he pulled his books out of his bag to do his homework, he realised he’dleft his book with all the homework in at school.
Noah set about a frantic search of the house looking for thebook, thinking maybe he’d taken it out earlier and put it somewhere, but hecouldn’t find it anywhere. The tears were back and this time sheer panic withthem.
‘I’ve got to have it ready for first thing in the morning,’he said to me his fingers clenched and pulling at his hair.
‘Well there’s nothing you can do about it if it’s not here.’
‘She’ll have the biggest psych at me in front of the wholeclass.’
‘What if you tell her you forgot to take your book home?’
‘She won’t care, that’ll just make her psych bigger,forgetting something is not an excuse.’
The panic in Noah was darting in his eyes. It was horribleto see him so upset, to know that this woman with all her bullying skills knewjust how to back him into a corner. As much I wanted to say, ‘Noah, it’s easy,all you have to do is change schools,’ I didn’t. He had to figure out whenenough was enough; he had to make the choice to leave.
I told him that if he was that worried he didn’t have to goto school the next day. That Jack could go to his classroom, tell the teacherthat he was sick and get his book that had the homework in it for him. Jack,who by this stage was listening in, said he didn’t want to go into Noah’sclassroom, said it was a scary place. I made a face over Noah’s head at Jackand he said, ‘but of course I’ll go and get it for you Noah.’
In the end, after searching the house again, Noah thoughtthat was probably the best idea, to have the day off and get Jack to go and gethis book for him.
Just as the kids were heading into bed though, Pete pickedup a newspaper to practise his French with and found an exercise bookunderneath it.
‘Hey Noah,’ Pete called. Noah stopped in the doorway to hisbedroom, ‘is this the book?’
A sheepish smile spread across Noah’s face, ‘yep.’
‘There you go then,’ Pete said throwing the book to Noah.‘Too late for homework now though. You can get up early in the morning and doit.
‘But there won’t be enough time,’ the edge of panic was backin Noah’s voice.
‘How about we stick to the plan of having tomorrow off? Thenyou can get the homework done in time for the next day.’
‘Yeah, OK.’
The next morning Noah greeted us by saying very seriouslythat he had something to tell us. ‘I’m not going back,’ he said, ‘ever again, Imean if that’s OK with you guys.’
‘Absolutely fine with us,’ Pete and I both said.
‘Have you had enough of Madame Kick Shins?’ I asked.
‘Yeah, I guess so. I was lying in bed last night thinkingabout it all and it all just sort of became clear. Why would I stay at thatschool trying to get along with everyone and learn French when I could gosomewhere else, still learn the French but actually have people be nice to me?In the end it seemed a bit silly if I didn’t move really.’
We started Noah at Kai’s school the next day. It was such ahuge change for him going from twelve hundred kids in a sprawling concrete highschool, to two hundred fifty kids in a tiny primary school set in the middle ofvineyards with a view over the lake.
It wasn’t scary, well not for me anyway, not like the firstday I’d left Kai there. I guess because I already knew that the teachers weresome of the best that you could get anywhere and I knew that Noah would besupported in the way he should have been from the start. It also helped a lotthat Kai, who was almost king of the school already, was with Noah. And theother fact was that Noah, after being at high school for three months, almostlooked too big for the school, too big for anyone to boss him around.
That first morning I asked Noah if he wanted me to wait withhim until the bell rang. He said no, said he’d be fine. He got out of the carand walked up the steps with Kai who was talking endlessly and skipping besideNoah. Kai was so excited to have his brother going to the same school as him.The both of them stood at the top of the steps side by side. Kai had stoppedtalking and was watching the other kids play some sort of chasing game. Noahwasn’t looking at any of the kids who were playing. He had his arms folded acrosshis chest and seemed to be staring up at the roof of the school building.
Kai looked up at Noah and said something; Noah shook hishead and kept looking up at the top of the school building. Kai shrugged hisshoulders and dropped his bag near Noah’s feet and then ran off to playchasings with the kids.
Noah stood there looking uncomfortable staring up at theschool building, making sure he didn’t happen to catch the eye of any of thekids who were staring at him. I wanted to get out, go and stand with him untilthe school bell rang, but Noah had been adamant that he didn’t want that. Hewas obviously old enough to be embarrassed by his mum. So instead I turned thecar around and drove off, leaving Noah to face another first day in a Swissschool.
At lunch when I asked Noah how his morning had been all Igot was a ‘Yeah good.’ When I asked him if the school was better than the highschool he’d been going to he said, ‘yep’ and then told me he was going to ridehis bike to school in the afternoon if that was OK with me.
Noah was more animated when he came home in the afternoon,excited about the choice of bike tracks that led to the school, telling meabout how he’d raced the school bus, not quite beaten it but all the kids inthe back seat had cheered for him. The best part though, he told me, was thathe’d found out his best friend in the class lived straight across the road fromus. I thought this was probably a bit too good to be true, number one, how doyou make a best friend in one day and number two if you’ve been that lucky whatare the chances of him actually living across the road.
But it was true, Noah had found himself a best friend and ifhe leant out our window and called across the street, Paul, his best friend,could be seen running to the window in his house waving madly and then when hegot to the window, talking away in French.
Noah has his say
Hi followers of the blog. The name’s Noah if you werewondering. You might have heard about me in a few of my mum’s books or maybejust the one for the moment ‘Wisdom Mothers Love’ I think it’s called. So then,where do I begin, lets say just when I started my new new school my second onebecause Madame Kick Shins was too hard to handle. So first day to school my newnew school (my second school if you were wondering what I meant by my new newschool) mum’s driving me to school on my first morning to my new new school (mysecond school).
‘I’m so proud of you Noah’, says mum for the hundredth timethis morning.
‘You’re so brave,’ she says for also the hundredth time.
‘Yep’, I say.
We finally reach the school.
‘Do you want me to walk up with you to your class?’
‘Eeeeerm-no’, I say a little to fast.
‘Ok’, she says.
“See ya s’arvo”, I say.
“Yep,” says mum.
I start walking towards the steps of the school. Awesome Isay in my mind sarcastically. Lets get the worst over and done with I think tomyself. I’ve reached the top of the stairs.
‘Tu es qui,’ says a boy with short hair reminding me of myfriend James in Australia.
‘Je m’appelle Noah,’ I say.
‘Tu es un nouveau eleve,’ says the same boy who asked myname.
‘Oui,’ I say absent mindedly.
Ding ding dong
‘Saved by the bell,’ I mutter under my breath.
Or not I realise as the same kid that had questioned me istalking to another boy and occasionally pointing at me. Then randomly the kidthat had been talking to the boy who had questioned me walked over to me, hewas small and stubby.
‘Salute,’ he says.
‘Je m’appelle Norman ,’ he says and he adds ‘tu parleanglais ou pas?’
‘Oui je parle anglais,’ I say wondering what this wasleading to?
‘Aah d’accord,’ he says, a smile spreads across his face andthen adds ‘tu aimes de manger crat?’
‘Aah we’ve hit the snag,’ I say quietly and then I look into his eyes and say simply
‘Non, je pas manger crat.’
Meaning simply that no I do not eat crap.
He sniggers and walks off to join another one of hisfriends.
Frigging hell, I think, what a donkey. Now Kai had warned ofthis bit cause Kai went to the same school. He said that you had to put yourcoat on a specific coat hanger. I pick one over the back which turns out too beno ones, awesome so far so good. But now, the desks, where the heck do I sit.
